Online “Dating Apps” / Dating Websites Can Lower Your “Self-esteem“
The increasing use of dating apps has been associated with a decline in self-esteem according to the psychologist study. Bangkok Matching often emphasized that before loving someone else, individuals must first learn to love themselves correctly. The key to this self-love is having “self-esteem,” defined as having self-respect, accepting oneself in various aspects, recognizing one’s self-worth, and being confident in one’s abilities. Self-esteem encompasses self-respect, decision-making in life and relationships, and serves as a cornerstone for a healthy mental state, predicting success in life through one’s worldview, thinking, and perception.
Individuals with high self-esteem are perceived as confident and capable in various aspects of life. They handle work responsibilities well, manage their relationships effectively, and exude confidence in their abilities. This confidence shields them from becoming subservient to toxic relationships. This is because individuals with high self-esteem possess the potential for positive thinking, decisive actions, and a proactive approach to life, increasing their likelihood of success compared to those lacking self-respect or confidence in their abilities.
In a research article focusing on the attitudes of the millennial generation in Thailand using dating apps conducted by Thammasat University, it was found that some people used dating apps to boost their confidence and fulfill emotional needs. Bangkok Matching observed that individuals often turn to dating apps to enhance their self-esteem. When initiating conversations and starting relationships through these dating apps, individuals experience a boost in confidence, similar to a self-rating mechanism.
However, tying one’s confidence to the use of dating apps can have consequences. As individuals gain confidence through these dating platforms, it can also be diminished. This is particularly true in apps where people make rapid judgments based on profile pictures or engage in brief conversations. Some individuals become engrossed in conversations, assuming that the other person is genuinely interested and confident about the connection, only to find them disappearing without a trace. Such experiences lead to waiting, confusion, and ultimately a sense of loss, contributing to self-doubt and a decline in self-esteem.
Main Reasons Online Dating Apps could Lower Self-esteem:
- Continuous External Judgment: The primary reason for a decline in self-esteem is the constant external judgment individuals face when using dating apps. The initial decision to engage with someone is often based on external appearances – profile pictures, introductory videos, and written bios. People make rapid judgments, deciding whether someone is interesting or worth pursuing within seconds. Knowing that one is continuously subjected to such evaluations from a large group can lead individuals to reshape themselves, unintentionally projecting an image that may not align with their true selves.
- Comparisons with Others: Even if there were no external judgments, the nature of dating apps encourages constant comparison with others. Seeing attractive profiles or those seemingly leading interesting lives can make individuals feel inadequate. The act of swiping left or right based on these comparisons may lead individuals to question their own worth and position in the dating pool. Comparing oneself to others in the dating app environment can generate negative emotions, contributing to stress, self-doubt, and a diminished sense of self.
- Neglecting Self-care for Love: The convenience of dating apps allows individuals to spend extensive amounts of time searching for love. This pursuit may lead them to neglect self-care and well-being. Believing that their profile is acceptable and attractive enough, individuals may forego personal development and self-improvement. The continuous search for external validation through the dating apps might make individuals forget the importance of self-love and personal growth, as genuine love may find its way without the need for constant app-driven searching.
- Impact of Rejection: Experiencing rejection, whether it be through lack of responses or being blocked after initiating contact, can significantly impact self-esteem. Receiving little to no feedback from others on the dating apps, or being rejected even before a conversation begins, can lead to negative self-perceptions. The repetitiveness of rejection can instill feelings of inadequacy, and individuals may start to blame themselves, thinking they are not good enough or appealing to the people they are interested in.
In conclusion, while dating apps offer a convenient way to connect with potential partners, individuals should be mindful of their impact on self-esteem. Continuous external judgments, comparisons with others, neglecting self-care for the sake of love, and the potential for rejection can contribute to a decline in self-esteem. Balancing the use of dating apps with a focus on self-love, personal growth, and genuine connections can help individuals maintain a healthy sense of self-worth and confidence
Dangers Arising from Low Self-esteem
Persistently lacking self-esteem is akin to a prolonged illness left untreated, leading to almost irreparable consequences. Bangkok Matching has compiled information on the detrimental effects of relying on others to bolster one’s self-esteem, transforming individuals into those lacking self-confidence, often without self-awareness. The three main underlying causes are outlined as follows:
- Falling into the grip of anxiety disorders or depression and experiencing emotional instability. The absence of self-esteem is analogous to losing the central core in one’s psyche, potentially giving rise to various adverse effects. This can begin with a lack of confidence in communication, dressing, and living with others, as the fear of making mistakes or facing rejection prevails, resulting in heightened stress and anxiety.
- Feeling socially disconnected or unwilling to engage in social activities due to the loss of self-confidence. Social interaction, viewed as establishing relationships with those around us, becomes daunting when one has lost confidence. Opening up to new experiences becomes intimidating, as the fear of non-acceptance and the inability to connect with others prevents the initiation of healthy relationships.
- A pervasive sense of wrongdoing, indicating severe self-doubt. Individuals with low self-esteem often lack the confidence to express their opinions, assuming their thoughts are incorrect. This can make them vulnerable to exploitation by those with ill intentions or lead them into toxic relationships where they are easily manipulated, controlled, and abused.
Bangkok Matching emphasizes the significance of this issue, underscoring that dating apps serve a purpose beyond mere enjoyment and excitement. While the thrill of meeting new people persists, the company warns of potential psychological dangers for those with sensitive mental states. Bangkok Matching, a high-end matchmaking service, reiterates the importance of safeguarding one’s mental well-being, self-confidence, self-respect, and self-love. Rejections are a part of life, similar to job hunting, and should not erode one’s confidence. Therefore, for those using dating apps, the advice is to establish a strong foundation, preventing oneself from being treated as an easily expendable plaything and ensuring that rejections on the dating apps do not undermine self-confidence or self-respect.
Enjoy the ride.
Reference
https://ethesisarchive.library.tu.ac.th/thesis/2017/TU_2017_5902115012_7895_6986.pdf
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